Is Your Child Learning How to Be a Bully?
By Susan Dunn
It happened in a split second. The kids were playing in the backyard and I looked out the window to see Adam pin Phillip to the ground. Unable to use his legs or arms, and being pummeled, Phillip did what any sensible 4 year old would do. He bit Adam. (And out I ran!)
We’re born knowing how to be aggressive. It’s the ‘getting along’ we need to learn. And those years which we aptly call “the formative years” are just the time to do this.
“Young children aren’t getting what they need to help them safely handle anger and aggression,” says Carla Garrity, Ph.D., “and the [preschool years] are a crucial time for those life lessons.”
We call those life lessons, Emotional Intelligence!
According to a SesameWorkshop.org, “By the time boys and girls are in kindergarten, bullying and teasing are a part of their daily school life….The biggest complaint from young victims…was that adults failed to notice and intervene. With no adult telling them to stop, aggressive children hone their skills until bullying becomes part of their personality.”
How will your child learn the cluster of life skills we call Emotional Intelligence? Studies show it’s more important to our happiness and success than IQ, and yet it’s not taught.
Here are a few tips from “Develop Your Child’s EQ: A Practical How-to Guide.”
1. Take the EQ-Map®, work with a certified EQ coach, and get yourself up-to-speed.
2. Read about the Marshmallow Test which predicts future success and happiness for 4 year olds.
3. Read to your child from the Children’s EQ Reading List.
4. Check out toys recommended for developing EQ. Keep in mind it’s the play around the toy that makes it EQ, not the toy itself.
For more practical tips, see “Develop Your Child’s EQ: A Practical How-to Guide”.
About the Author:
Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc. Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. Coach Certification Program - fast, affordable, no-residency, training coaches worldwide. Email for free ezine.
