New Peers
By Larry Hochman
A college sophomore, trying to maintain grades high enough to be well positioned to apply for law school, goes out drinking and clubbing with her lady friends instead of studying for her political science midterm.
A high school student, wanting to lose weight to increase his chances of starting on the football team, gets funny looks from his buddies when he drinks bottled water in the school cafeteria. The next day, he switches over to space age blue sugar drink like the rest of the crowd.
A computer programmer eats with his coworkers, none of whom he likes and all of whom are unhappy with their jobs; instead of going out and advertising his business during lunch hour.
What do these people have in common?
PEER PRESSURE
Peer pressure is a force unto itself. It has no rhyme or reason. It has no soul. It is ever-present, like death and taxes. It’s the undercurrent of our lives.
Its function is to reinforce an existing social structure, and it makes no difference if the structure is healthy or destructive. It's always been there and always will be there.
LACK OF COURAGE
I thought for a while about whether or not to be this harsh in describing the above behaviors. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck!
Courage is not the same as fearless. You can have fear (or discomfort) and still do what you know is the right thing. That’s courage. And it isn't showing in any of these folks!
LACK OF COMMITMENT
None of these Bozos in working toward a goal that's important enough to them to make some difficult choices. If our college student wanted to be in law school badly enough, she would find a way to detach from the club scene for a little while.
If our poor programmer wanted to get out of his environment badly enough, he'd be out there pounding the pavement instead of lending his voice to the chorus of malcontents.
LACK OF SUPPORTIVE CULTURE
Or let's put this another way: Inadequate supportive culture. We know very well that 90% of the people we meet on an everyday basis are so fearful of change that any behavior that doesn't go along with the herd is actively or passively discouraged.
We also know that 10% of folks out there are open books, ready and supportive of those willing to take chances. Some of those 10% are reading this article right now!
Each of the above folks could seek out those ten percenters and decide to make them THEIR dominant culture, but for some unknown reason, haven't done so.
The good news...the ten percenters will always be there, ready and willing to lend them their support.
And those ten percenters are ALWAYS stronger personalities than the 90 percenters!
THE PROBLEM
People flock to the crowd, even though they know the crowd will suck the life force right out of them.
THE SOLUTION
With patience and tolerance, disengage from that crowd and join a new one.
About the Author:
Larry Hochman is "The Guidance Guy" and the advice columnist for Rate My Teachers. Have a question on education or college? Visit the Guidance Guy blog.
