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A Matter of Principle

By Marnie Pehrson

As we look around us in the world today we see many who are struggling in broken homes, with heartbreak, and loneliness. Many are past feeling and roam in gangs to viciously attack innocent individuals. Our cities are nests for crime and vandalism.

Only in the most remote rural areas would anyone think to leave their door unlocked when leaving the house. The love of many has waxed cold as mothers abandon their children and parents use their children as pawn-like weapons against one another. What has happened to us as a nation, as a world?

Yet, even with this going on all around us, many families remain strong. Many continue to love and serve their friends, families and neighbors. Churches, community groups and individuals still rally to the aid of those who have been devastated by wars and natural disasters. Contrary to what news reports would have us believe there is still good news going on in the world. Although popular ideology would have us believe that there are many shades of gray between right and wrong and good and evil, the outcome in society seems to be gravitating to the two polar extremes.

Why? What delineates the difference between good and evil? What enables one family to stay together and raise their children to become good, loving and kind individuals while another family breaks apart and children are left to fend for themselves and gravitate toward lives of crime and addiction? What do those who stand firm possess that those who crumble in chaos and captivity do not? The answer is principles. Good old-fashioned principles make the difference. When people are taught correct principles, they have the ability to govern themselves from within, so that they need fewer laws to govern them from without.

What are these principles? This article will outline seven of them. If we will work to restore and embrace these principles, we can swing the pendulum back toward more good than evil, more light than darkness, more truth than error, and more love than hate.

Love

''Love is the only force that can erase the differences between people or bridge the chasms of bitterness.'' (Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something pg. 3). Selfless, unconditional love can cover a multitude of ills. This kind of love is more than words. It is shown and felt in actions, in service, in freely giving and sharing our gifts and talents with others. As we develop and give this love, it transforms our hearts, builds self-worth and enables us to be an influence for good in the lives of those around us. Love eradicates fear.

Integrity

Integrity means being upright, good, and above all honest. We are not being honest with ourselves when we do not live according to that which we know to be true. When our beliefs and actions do not jive, we have lost integrity. Integrity means being willing to respond to your conscience, ''even when it is unpopular to do so – perhaps especially when it is unpopular to do so. In standing for principle, there is loneliness. But men and women of integrity must live with their convictions. Unless they do so, they are miserable.'' (Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something pg. 167) A key source of misery and addictions in this world can be directly linked back to the loss of integrity. Those who will not live with integrity must suffer the misery that follows. Many turn to addictions with food, chemicals and alcohol to mask the misery that comes when one lacks the willingness to stand up and live true to what they know to be right.

Commitment

It's a common joke among women seeking marriage, that men have trouble with the big ''C'' word – commitment. But, men do not have a corner on the market for lack of commitment. Women are just as bad with their own issues. Commitment means promising and covenanting to live a certain way, to follow through with one's duty. It takes strength of character to truly commit. But without commitment, nothing happens. No goal can be reached, no weakness overcome, no dream attained without the commitment and resolve to take action and to do whatever it takes to achieve the desired outcome.

Optimism

The cynicism that surrounds us in the media often seeps into our souls. We come to expect and look for the worst. In life, we generally find what we're looking for. Optimism takes courage and faith. It takes the courage to believe that in the end, good will triumph, that right will prevail. It takes the courage to believe that whatever happens, it will be for the best and that you will learn something valuable from even the worst of experiences. Look for the good. It is there. It is all around us. Optimism is contagious. It motivates us to do good and to spread cheer, which then ripples like water when you throw a pebble into a pond.

Faith

Whether or not you think you have faith, everyone does. You believe the sun will rise tomorrow. You plant a seed in hopes that it will grow into a lovely flower or vegetable. It takes faith to start a business in hopes that you will be successful. When you send your children out the door for school in the morning you believe they will return to you in the afternoon. Everything you do in your life requires some degree of faith. The more faith you have, the more you can accomplish. The more you dare to dream and believe and envision, the more you can achieve.

Gratitude

"Gratitude is a sign of maturity. It is an indication of sincere humility. It is a hallmark of civility… Where there is appreciation, there is also courtesy and concern for the rights and property of others. Without these, there is arrogance and evil. Where there is gratitude, there is humility instead of pride, generosity rather than selfishness." (Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something pg. 90)

Choice and Accountability

This principle is dangling by a thread in our society. We blame others for our problems. We sue our neighbor because we slipped on his porch. We look to government to make us happy. We do anything and everything we can to blame someone else for our problems. The man or woman who can act with responsibility and accountability knows that "if it is to be, it is up to me." We are responsible for the choices we make and must live with the consequences that are inseparably connected to them. Of course, there are times when we are victims. There are times when other peoples' poor choices infringe upon our right to choose. But as Victor Frankel, a psychologist who suffered years in Nazi death camps explained, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing -- the last of the human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. And there were always choices to make. Fundamentally anyone can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him – mentally and spiritually. As difficult as it might be, we never have to be the victims." (Man's Search for Meaning) Until we are willing to admit that we are responsible for our own lives, we will not have the ability to reach our full potential.

I challenge you to embrace these seven principles. Study them. Find one in which you are weak and work this month to foster it into your daily life. Then next month, pick another, and then another. The benefits of incorporating these solid principles into your life include true happiness, self-worth, peace of conscience, prosperity, and the joy of knowing that you have made a difference for good in the world around you. Commit this very hour to be a man or woman of integrity and live true to these principles, and I promise you the benefits and blessings that are inseparably connected with them.